THE BURDEN OF FEAR
By Steven La Force
Ah young love, the dream is so pure when it is seen thru the eyes of youth. We want what all souls want in this crazy world, to love and be loved. However we live in a society where feelings of low self worth, greed, stupidity, shortsightedness, and fear are common. Many of us do not feel worthy of things like Love and happiness.
As time passes, and we go from one failed relationship to another, the dream starts to lose its appeal. The desire for love is slowly replaced by feelings of inner loneliness, and despair. In time we forget what it was like to feel warmth for another, or for ourselves for that matter. Our once light, love thirsty heart becomes dark, and heavy with the burden of fear.
We feel weak, vulnerable, and foolish. The world becomes a terrifying place, full of dark strangers. We ask ourselves “ where did we go wrong?” “Why can’t I be loved?” “ Is this too much to ask?” We develop defenses to prevent future hurt. But the pain only deepens. As we feel disconnected from our fellow human beings and from God. In our eyes God has abandoned us, this is truly hell on earth. Opportunities are missed, and hope seems lost. All that remains are the burdens we carry. Life becomes all about the burden, as it grows heavier, with each passing day. Fear of being hurt, fear of vulnerability, fear of how others see us, fear of dying, and fear of living. We are backed into a corner as the burden takes on a life of its own, all but destroying the wonderful people we once were. We isolate, and make excuses for ourselves like “I don’t need anyone” We say things like “ life sucks, and then we die,” or “ People are no dam good, they cannot be trusted!” We slowly sink into a sea of negativity. Such a heavy burden to be carried by such good, and kind people like us only seeking to be loved, and understood. We try to distract ourselves from the pain by purchasing things we don’t need, or working long, and inhuman hours. Life itself begins to lose its brilliant colors.
We try to give to others in the hope that if we can make them happy, somehow we will be happy. Most of the time this strategy backfires, because we attract someone who sees our generosity, as chance to take control (yet another person carrying the burden of fear). So we find ourselves right back where we started in a destructive situation. We feel helpless to stop the cycle of pain, and negativity. Such a terrible way to live, if this is what one would call “ living”.
Pretty bleak huh? For those who cannot see what they are doing to themselves, they will continue to carry the burden of fear.
Every moment of life is a precious gift, along with a chance for growth, and learning. Everyday we are afforded opportunities to be better people than who we are right now. With every person we meet, every flower we stop to smell, every breath we take, its all right here for the taking. Fear is diminished when we learn to live in the moment. Yes the events of the past hurt us, but the past is dead, it only lives in the hearts, and minds of those who do not wish to move forward, for the burden is nothing more than self-punishment. Even criminals are given a second chance, why not you? A future cannot exist for a soul who dwells in what has happened; this leaves no room for what will happen. Who cares what others think of us? No one is perfect, and ABSOLUTLEY NO ONE is in a position to judge another.”
We loved, and we lost”…at least we loved. What have we lost? Just because things didn’t turn out the way we wanted, does not mean that love was wasted. At least we surrendered to a possibility. We tried, and that is all that can be asked of us. We cannot control the choices of others, positive, or negative. Freewill is a gift that God gave to everyone.
Being rejected by another does not make us unworthy people, nor does it make the person who mistreated us a “ bad person” We all make mistakes; this is just a part of being human. Mistakes are why pencils have erasers!
Stupid mistakes only occur when repeated. If ones learns from their mistakes are they now called a “ learning experience?” other peoples bad behavior is their burden, not ours. So why carry their burdens? We do this every time we surrender to fear. We slice off a piece of our own self-respect every time we sell out to the burden of fear. Those who stumble thru life, blindly harming others deserve our understanding, and pity, not our fear. So why not pray for these unfortunate souls? And wish them happiness.
YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, TODAY IS A GIFT,
THAT’S WHY WE CALL IT “THE PRESENT.”
Why not let go of our burdens, we don’t need to carry them any longer.
We can stand tall as worthy people without them.
Love awaits us. Live it, grow it, take it, be it.
As Nelson Mandela said “ Stop playing small.”
God bless you Steven P. La Force
