Yogic Parenting Column 2
by Suzy Garfinkle Chevrier
Namaste and thank you for your gratifying feedback!
One of the first readers I heard from asked,
"In your definition of Yogic [with intention to connect mind/body/spirit (and emotion.)] why did you put emotions in parenthesis?"
Thank you so much for your astute question. Yoga is generally translated from the sanskrit as "union" and what we read in all the ancient yoga scriptures is that we are working to unite mind/body/spirit. I have always felt that emotion is implicit although not stated in that triangle.
Once, in a discussion with an acquaintance who had no yoga experience, I said that aspiring to integrate mind/body/soul is what it means to me to live a fully "yogic" life. He was quite aggressive with me that "emotion" was missing from the equation. I argued that it was present in the intention if not explicit, he said, "You should state it." In writing that first column, I took into consideration that some might feel as he did and I added the word, but parenthetically for the yoga purists.
Each spring, as school ends, I observe an interesting pattern. Just as I am receiving an enormous volume of positive feedback about my children from outside sources (teacher conferences and award ceremonies) I experience an increase in oppositional behavior from each of them. Fortunately, I understand the following;
Kids act out where it is safe to act out when they are secure that the love won't be removed.
If we love our children unconditionally and home is a safe environment, we are guaranteed to see their worst. This is as it should be. Our comfort must be in knowing that they are preserving their image to the world.
Every year as summer ends, and we prepare for school to begin, difficulties again increase at home. So why are these transitions similarly challenging for kids?
CHANGE and, sometimes worse; ANTICIPATION OF CHANGE.
Many of us adults suffer the same trepidation about major changes in our lives, but we forget how HUGE these seasonal changes are to kids. Children have fewer experiences on which to base their predictions of how things will be. No wonder everything new is terrifying!
TALK to your kids about the stress of transition, in advance. Let them know you see it coming. Validate their feelings. Ask them, what is the worst thing that can happen? Talk it through. If you have a yoga practice or have done any breath work or meditation you have already learned the tools to ease yourself through stress, now is the time to teach your child very basic breathing and relaxation techniques. If your child's response to stress is to be more active then teach them to know that they firs need an activity with physical exertion. Afterward, teach them how to become still with themselves. One of my girls is accustomed to me saying, "go get on your bike" any time I see her tension level on the rise. When she comes home exhausted, I suggest she play her guitar which is her magical soother. If your child's tendency is to hold things in, encourage them to make loud noises.
Remember, the time to introduce these things is never during a bad episode. In the calm after the storm, try to talk about how that could have gone better!
More and more places are cropping up offering yoga for children. The benefits include improved sleep and school habits.
I would love to hear from you.
Namaste!
Suzy
Namaste~sanskrit greeting meaning, "The light in me sees and bows to the light in you."
Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.
A life is not measured by breaths taken, but by moments that take our breath away!!!!
Suzy Garfinkle Chevrier is a single mother, has practiced yoga on and off for over 25 years with a daily practice for the past 10 years and as a yoga teacher for 4 years. She is the founder and president of:
Prepare Tomorrow's Parents, an international nonprofit organization promoting the inclusion of parenting preparation, relationship skills and empathy development embedded in the school curriculum grades K-12.
